7 Reasons of Failed Relationship

7 Reasons of Failed Relationship

Everyone is looking for someone who will stay at their side until their hair turns grey. Romantic as it may seem but in our modern time, you need to know the 7 reasons of failed relationship before you jump into the next level. Knowing these reasons will help you to understand and to do the things that you need to do to avoid the bad things that will end up into another failed relationship.

Checking websites after website about this topic leads me to zero result. It’s not that nobody wrote about this, certainly thousands of people already wrote this topic, however I didn’t find what I am truly looking for: the deepest reason behind all reason of reasons of failed relationship.

And because I cannot find what I am looking for, I started to write an article about it and share my 7 reasons of failed relationship and I am hoping that you could relate on it and maybe think about it.

My 7 Reasons of Failed Relationship:

1. Unprepared.

How romantic it is to meet each other accidentally and felt that “love at first” feeling, but don’t forget to keep in mind to established the basic foundation of relationship which is friendship. Make friends and get to know each other well. Do not jump into a relationship after another because you thought you are in love. Don’t mislead by the idea of compassion versus love. As Proverbs 17:17 says;

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Coming from a bad relationship, you are still vulnerable and felt weak that when someone approach you and do the things that you are looking for a man, you will think that he is the one for you. Some people will use your bad situation just to go into your life. Go and make friends but never look for love because love will come at your unexpected moment.

2. Insensitivity.

God gave you five senses: Sense of touch, smell, sight, hearing, and taste. I know you already know that however you do not use it on your relationship.

Sense of touch is use to take good care of the one you love. You offer a hand before she go out of the car or down from the bus. You hold hands while crossing the streets or you carry her bags for her.

Sense of smell is use to appreciate her perfume or his cologne, or you can also say how good is the smell of the dish cooked for the two of you.

Sense of sight is use to look at your partner and not to others while talking or walking on the streets. Set your eyes for the person you love to avoid temptation and misunderstanding. Never try to look at that girl in red miniskirt or that guy in black tuxedo because it will just complicate things in your mind.

Sense of Hearing is use to listen on your partner’s repetitive story for the nth time or for the dull jokes that you never know where the idea came from.

And finally, sense of taste is use to taste the food (of course! so don’t think different about tasting, LOL!) cooked for you because it’s done out of love not just to impress you but to express the love for you.

Simple things that you can do and yet you don’t do it anymore after the “getting-to-know-each-other” level because you thought everything is alright. As Romans 12:16 says;

16 Be sensitive to each other’s needs – don’t think yourselves better than others, but make humble people your friends. Don’t be conceited.

3. Repetition of mistakes. 1 Corinthians 14:38

38 But if someone doesn’t recognize this, then let him remain unrecognized.

Boom! You are now thinking about your partner’s mistake. Don’t. You will just ruin your day. Instead of thinking about your partner’s committed mistake, think about your own mistakes. If you have committed a lot of mistakes from the past, keep that in mind how that happened and please avoid doing it again. Know the things that you do that your partner hates and avoid doing or committing it again. If you have the idea of “if-he-loves-me-he-will-accept-me-for-who-I-am” then please don’t go into a relationship. In a relationship you both need to adjust and change some things to make the relationship work.

Selfishness is natural in human however the word sacrifice does exist and that made you to think about your partner’s needs first before yours; that’s how true love works in a relationship.

4. Reminiscing.

It’s good to reminisce; bringing back all the good memories from the past and remembering all the things between the two of you but please remember only the good things and forget about the bad things. It will do no good for both of you if you keep on counting all the bad things that happened. As Philippians 3:13 says;

Brothers, I, for my part, do not think of myself as having yet gotten hold of it; but one thing I do: forgetting what is behind me and straining forward toward what lies ahead,

Also, stop checking your ex’s profile on Facebook; you have no reason at all for you to check it every day.

5. Silent War.

Misunderstanding are normal in a relationship however if it happens thousands of times a week then think again. When misunderstanding happens, don’t let your anger runs into your nerve that you start the cold war or the silent treatment. That is very immature. Not talking for the night will lead both of you to break up the next day because you did not explain your side and your partner will think differently about you. Remember: Your partner is neither a psychic nor a fortune-teller to know what you’re thinking. Speak up and say politely how you feel or what you are thinking! As Proverbs 12:22 says;

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.

6. Pride.

Humility is giving importance to others first rather yourself. Pride can kill not only humility in a relationship but also the relationship itself. You cannot say sorry or you cannot accept mistakes. You think you are always right and your mind is close for your partner’s opinion. And when misunderstanding happens, you always wait till he take the first move to say sorry and you always do that until your partner got tired and looked for someone else.As Mark 10:45 says:

For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

It’s cute when your partner do those silly things to win you back but it’s no longer cute when you have this misunderstanding for 4 times a week.

7. Love is not enough.

The last reason for this list of 7 Reasons of Failed Relationship is your own feelings. Do you really love the person you always hold hands? They say love without measure and that is true, but if you feel that something is missing, you are not contented or you only think about what is good for you and not for your partner, then think again if you are really in love. As 1 Corinthians 13:7 says

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Most relationship failed not because love is absent; that is a No, No. Love is always present, it’s just that, one loves more and the other loves less.

Now that you know the 7 Reasons of failed relationship, you can at least avoid those things to happen on your relationship. This will also help you on how to handle your relationship and your partner.

Going into a relationship, you need to clear yourself from hatred of the past, make sure you are ready not only for love but also for hurt because it’s part of every relationship; you are giving your partner t love you and to hurt you at the same time. Established the basic foundation of relationship, communicate well, and pray. Ask God to guide and to take full control of the relationship if you really want to make the relationship last long.

3 Ways of Fighting the Battle

 

3 Ways of Fighting the Battle

Every person deals with different situations every day. It does not matter what kind of situation you are facing in, what matter is how you face it. There are 3 ways of fighting your battle that you already knew but you never apply into your life.

I’d been into many battles of my life that I could never win all by myself. I know God is there to fight the battle for me and I trusted Him that He will never let me down.

My 3 ways of fighting the Battle:

1. Call Him. Psalm 120:1

I call on the LORD in my distress, and he answers me

In times of difficult situation the first thing to do is to call God. DO not call your friends and others because the first person who can help you is God. He is powerful and He can make everything possible.

Keep in mind to talk to God before you make a wise decision to the situation.

2. Open up. Psalm 55:22

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

Before you call a friend and share your thoughts and problems, share it first to God. If you really want a solution to your problem, God will give it but if you only want sympathize then you can tell it to your friend. Don’t get me wrong but not all your friends can help you but God can always help you so why would you go to your friend if you can have the best solution from God?

God can help you better than your friend.

3. Do not be afraid. Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

 

This is not the first time that you need to face a difficult situation and you know that God will always stay at your side to solve it. Never entertain the feeling of fear because God is powerful and bigger than your problem.

After you called and talked to God, put your trust in God because He can solve your problem. Do not worry because God will answer you.

Life is full of surprises and knowing the 3 ways of fighting the battle will help you to deal with these surprises. You cannot control the things happening in your life. All you can do is to put your hope and trust to God. You cannot control things but God can and all you have to do is to let Him take in-charge of your life fully.

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How to handle rejection in your everyday life?

How to handle rejection in your everyday life?

“No man is an island.” Short but popular saying because no man wants to feel alone or rejected. In this life, there are only two places: it’s either someone rejected you or you rejected someone. Whatever situation you are in, you will still feel the pain or anger or hatred towards someone because rejection results to grudges or bitterness. If you really want to change your life this year you need to know how to handle rejection in your everyday life.

Did you know that rejection starts at home? Some women, after giving birth, experienced “postpartum” and depression without even knowing it? Doctors observed first reaction of the mother on the first moment of meeting her child? And women, who are experiencing postpartum, do not want to hold the child or even see it and that’s the first rejection that the baby experienced which will last long unless the mother got recovered from postpartum and depression. Sad but it’s true.

Rejection is everywhere and you cannot control it because all of us have different preferences: for friends, group, colleagues and others. There’s always an option or choices that you need to choose from and the one you did not choose considered as rejected. If people rejects you for so many times, it’s not their fault and not yours, so all you have to do is to know how to handle rejection in your everyday life to prepare and equip yourself before going out of the house.

Luke 6:22 says

“How blessed you are whenever people hate you and ostracize you and insult you and denounce you as a criminal on account of the Son of Man.

Jesus experienced rejection but He kept His faith and trust God. He focused His eyes to God and to His purpose and lived His life as a good example to everyone. He teaches people through preaching and healed the sick. He did not lose hope or give up after all the rejection and negative things He heard and saw from the people.

Same with your situation today, you cannot please everyone in the company or school and whatever you do, good or bad, they will say something against you but it does not mean you need to stop. If you know how to handle rejection in your everyday life, you can move forward and still live your life without quitting. If they reject you, you still have God and He sent you to that place, wherever you are today, with a purpose and you need to fulfill it. Do not forget that.

How to handle rejection in your everyday life? Simple: Pray. Keep your faith to God and trust Him that whatever happens today, God is in control and He will always have a good purpose for everything. Always talk to God and ask guidance on how to react on negative people while staying as positive as possible. If someone ignores you or rejects you, smile and keep that positive attitude. Take it as a challenge but not for you but for God. Keep in mind that you do not have to push yourself to anyone, because when you have God in your life, God will bring you the right people in your life. Truss God because nothing is impossible to Him.

Why do you need to wait?

Ask a thousand people and I doubt getting someone who will say that waiting is their forte or they love waiting because I believe nobody wants to wait. Do you know why do you need to wait?

Going into an interview and seeing the long line of applicant will discourage you and will push you to just go home without even trying. Is this right?

How about saying “yes” to the person you really don’t like just because you do not want to stay single for a long time. You think that the right one will no longer come or you are thinking that the person in front of you is the right one. Where’s your faith in that?

Have you ask yourself why do you need to wait? I always think about this because waiting is not my forte. I want to get things fast and I believe it’s natural to someone like me to have that kind of personality. Don’t get me wrong but I am just honest to myself. But I change that attitude because when I ask God why I need to wait, He just simply answer me this:

You need to wait because you need:

1. To avoid the wrong one.

Remember the feeling when you receive the gift that you really like unfortunately you already bought it a week ago because you can no longer wait for your birthday? You cannot choose what to dispose since you cannot have two same things with same purpose in your life.

How many times your heart-break because of bad relationship? You think he is the one for you, the signs that you think came from God but still the relationship ends. You will ask why or you will just say that maybe he is not the right one. You keep on going in and going out of relationship until you feel tired. Do you think this is God’s plan for you? Of course not! As Jeremiah 29:11

11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

You and I read this verse for a thousand times but until now we keep asking God what He really plans for us.

2. To give time for preparation.

Watching fireworks display made me realize that everything needs preparation. A celebration without preparation will make blast but will not stay in people’s mind. It will not even reach people’s heart. Do you want that?

Everyone loves surprises but someone needs to prepare the surprise to make it effective. Make sense? Think about it.

You need to wait because you need to give time for preparation. You need to prepare yourself in receiving the big blessing that you are waiting for from God. He will only give it to you if He thinks that you can handle it and you will gain wisdom from it. As 1 Corinthians 16:13 says;

Stay alert, stand firm in the faith, behave like a mentsh, grow strong.

3. To keep your faith strong. (Hebrews 11:1)

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Waiting develops faith, trusting that something you are waiting for will surely come. Have you ever imagine getting all the things that you want in just one click? Super nice right? But what did you gain from getting what you want with just a snap of your finger? You get nothing but only just a heart without contentment.

I believe that a thing with value takes time that’s why you need until God gives you what you want. To wait is to keep your faith strong while trusting God that He will never fail you. You believe that nothing is impossible with God because He is God.

4. To avoid missing the blessing.

People tends to choose what is present rather waiting for the right one and with this, people missed the blessings from God. You have your desires, and you are praying for it for a long time but after a long time you give up and chose anyone or anything without asking God and without even knowing that God is giving you the blessing but your hand is now full with the things that you choose to have.

You will not miss the blessing of God if you keep His commands and promises in your heart. As 2 John 1:6

And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.

5. To serve as living testimony.

Do you believe that you are the living testimony of God? All the miracles of your life is a testimony that God is working in your life. Whatever changes that people will see happening in your life will serve as a living testimony that God is living in you. As 1 Corinthians 1:6 says;

God thus confirming our testimony about Christ among you.

Why do you need to wait is because you want to serve as a living testimony of God to encourage others to have faith and not to lose hope in this journey of life. As a living testimony, your purpose is to share the new life that God gave you.

It’s not easy to wait but you can do it. It’s not impossible because with God everything is possible.

With all the hard things happening in your life, I understand if you feel of losing hope that’s why I write about why do you need to wait, because I want you to get up and fight and continue hoping and trusting God.

After reading this, I want you to copy and print this list of reasons why do you need to wait to remind you every day that God is in control and He is working in your life because you are a work in progress. God is watching you and setting all things for you. All you need to do is to follow Him, put His commands in your heart and walk in His shadow. Focus your eyes to God because His eyes never left you.

Transformers: The Effective Way to Encourage People

Transformers: The Effective Way to Encourage People

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

Done watching the movie “Transformers”? I heard different feedbacks and movie reviews about it encouraging others to see it. Many people can encourage but not all can do it effectively. Do you want to know the effective way to encourage people?

I chose to surround myself with people who are positive and effective encourager. People who I believe will lead me to the right path and will guide me in making decisions. Choosing to obey God means choosing to do what is right and just. As 1 1 Corinthians 11:1 says

Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.

God transformed me and I am part of the group of transformers imitating the true transformer whom is God and encourage everyone to come to Him and change the heart’s condition. You cannot change yourself unless God will change and transform you. God loves you for who you are and for what you are but He wants to refine you into a better person because He wants the best for you.

The Effective Way to Encourage People

We need to know the effective way to encourage people because we need to encourage one another. If no one will encourage then no one will have the courage to take the risk and make decision for the team. And remember, somebody also exerted their effort to encourage you, whether it’s in simple way or extravagant way that is why you are where you at right now. Just like me, I am here because someone encouraged me and place a seed in my head that I can write and encourage others. Here’s the list of effective way to encourage people:

1. Approach and appreciate. Acts 13:15

After the reading from the Law and the Prophets, the synagogue rulers sent word to them, saying, “Brothers, if you have a message of encouragement for the people, please speak.”

It’s not easy to lead a seminar or even a small group for a bible sharing. You can feel the responsibility in making sure that everyone will understand the talk or the message for that day. Pastors, group leaders and councilors feel this every time there’s a service or sharing session. A little step forward will change make them happy after you approach and give your appreciation for the message that they shared with you today. A simple “thank you for the sharing” or “this is a wonderful service / session” can encourage them to continue what they are doing. Anyway, it will not harm you to say thank you or to show appreciation.

2. Ignore faults and negative things. Romans 3:10

As it is written: “None is righteous, no, not one;

Some people are born singer and some are not. However, if you have a friend singing for the occasion, have the guts to appreciate her or his effort. Do not look on the negative things like how your friend pronounced the words or the proper way of standing while singing. Please, you are not a judge in singing competition to act like that. All you have to do is to encourage your friend and tell her or him that you like it, that she’s getting better and to continue practicing. I am not telling you to lie but what I am telling you is to look at the bright side and appreciate the time and effort your friend gave just to entertain you and the others.

3. Acknowledge every effort. Philippians 2:3

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.

Encourage means to acknowledge. Acknowledge every effort means that you need to mention and give thanks to every member of the team. You will not feel comfortable sitting in a chair unless you see that it is clean because someone cleaned the place. It is hard to have a joyful and lively service if you do not have the music ministry to sing and play the instrument. You feel bored if the pastor is not ready on his sermon. You can see so many things inside and outside the church that needs acknowledgement because everyone is exerting their time and effort to do their part as a church or community member.

Acknowledging does not mean you need a microphone and spent two hours giving thanks to each and everyone. You can encourage everyone by acknowledging in ways of approaching them and giving thanks like 2 to 5 people a day or in every service. Believe me, it will not cost all your time.

4. Helping hand. Hebrews 13:16

Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.

Going back to your friend who can sing, you can encourage her by introducing someone you know whom professional in music. This will encourage her to continue her passion in singing through trainings and this will also help her to improve her talent.

Or if you are professional writer, you can help and encourage through blogs or teaching others on how to write effectively.

The effective way to encourage people is to start helping. Helping is another way of encouraging others to believe that God is really working into your life. You don’t have to push them by telling but you are only showing that you are a work in progress and God is the one leading you.

5. Learn the art of praising. Proverbs 16:24

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Remember the time you attended a service and you feel like from the praise and worship up to the sermon or preaching, all part really struck you that you want to stand up and give a big hand of applause to everyone? Don’t worry, I felt and experienced that too. The overflowing joy after the service crushed your stone heart. A clap won’t hurt you so give it a try.

Giving praise to other will encourage them to exert more and do their best every day or every service. Praising the Pastor for the enlightening preaching will let him know that you are listening and appreciating his effort and his sharing of teaching.

6. Give Cheerfully. 2 Corinthians 9: 7

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

You can encourage others by giving because you are showing that you can share what you have. You are encouraging others that you can share whatever status in life that you are in. Your focus is to share yourself with others while encouraging them to do the same without even pushing them to follow you.

Encouraging is influencing others. It’s not an easy task but with God everything is possible.

7. Celebrate. Ecclesiastes 9:7

Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do.

Treat the group or your friend to celebrate a wonderful afternoon after a service or after a nice small group talk. A simple celebration will encourage the group and create solidarity and familiarity with each and everyone. It’s nice to celebrate and give thanks everyday because God is really amazing.

Encouraging others will not cost you anything.  The effective way to encourage people starts with you. Do not waste your time looking at negative things hence focus your eyes on the good things. Positive thoughts create positive minds and positive minds results to peaceful and joyful life.

Do Not Worry; Have Faith and Trust God

Do Not Worry; Have Faith and Trust God.

God calls you for a certain purpose, and put you on a specific place, so be in faith and trust Him that everything will work according to His purpose.

Matthew 6:25-34

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Looking back at what happened in your life, you start reflecting all the situations and the challenges you have to face, and you keep on smiling because you remember the feeling of winning on all these trials on your life. After reflecting, you want to change or to improve some things in your life. You want something new, something to look forward to. You are looking for a better life, for convenience and for happiness. You spend a lot of time thinking about something to gain, to have or to meet.

If you are thinking so many things that you do not have yesterday and you want it to gain today, you will feel tired. Why? Because you are focusing yourself to the things you think you need because you think your heart is craving for it. You want to push yourself just to have these material things. You worry too much to the things you need to change or to the things you need to have. You deal too much on so many things on how to secure your life. It is good to dream or to imagine things that you want to have. But have you ever ask yourself if this is the right thing to do?

If you want to change or to improve something in your life and to secure your future, all you have to do is to know what is important in your life. Is it material things? Is it a job position? Is it the basic necessities or commodities of the family? You have to go back to the basic in knowing what the important thing in your life is and do not worry about it, but be in faith that you will have it. This is our foundation of our walk with God. As what Matthew 8:26 says;

26 He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

If there are things happening today that is beyond your control, be in faith and trust God that He will change things. Stand up with God, and look forward in believing that God will give your needs and heart’s desire. You cannot stand with your faith if you worry too much. Remember that: worry and anxiety will not put you in faith. You have to place your trust to God and not to yourself. It is God who will bless you because He loves you. You follow what God told you as your purpose in life. Do not worry in having and preparing for material things; prepare on what you will do on your purpose, and your calling. As what in 2 Corinthians 5:7 says;

“For we live by faith, not by sight.”

God calls you for a certain purpose, and put you on a specific place, so be in faith and trust Him that everything will work according to His purpose. Without faith, you cannot please God. Faith is facing the reality and yet trusting God in the middle of difficulty. We worry too much on food, clothes and other necessities. Have you ever ask yourself if these things are more important than your life? Breathing and waking up everyday is more important than any material things in your life. As what Philippians 4:6 says;

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

If you want to fight anxiety, all you need to do is to present your requests to God by prayer, petition and thanksgiving. You have to trust God because he gives importance to you. He knows your needs and waiting for your petitions through prayer. God is powerful that He can do and provide everything if you will just put your faith and trust Him.

You can only put your faith to God if you will seek and put God first in your life. How to priority God? Starting your day right; waking up and praying first. You have to give time to God. Talking to Him, reading the bible and understanding what He wants you to do for that certain day. You are looking forward that God will be with you and you put your trust in Him. Thinking about things you will do for God, to please Him and to worship Him. Search on things that you want to do to know God more and share God’s blessing with others.

Do not forget this: If you have God, what else can you ask for? Keep in mind to seek God first, trust and keep your faith in Him.

Powerful Prayer

The Testing of Faith develops Perseverance

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God ; believe also in me. (John 14:1)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. (James 1:2-5)

Breathe and Have Faith

Matthew 17:20

20 He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. “

Matthew 6:34

34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Commitment with God

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